I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
