Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
