This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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