There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
