doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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