no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
