Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
