He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
