this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
