Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
