I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
