he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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