you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
