i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
