i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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