so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
