How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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