You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
