I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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