I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
