That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
