We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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