I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
