who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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