You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
