Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
