I just made out with a guy for $7.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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