It's Friday. Sex?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
