we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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