wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
