I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
