Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
