but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
