Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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