i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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