why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
