I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
