meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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