remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
