I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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