dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
