is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
