i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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