dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
