I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
