There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
