Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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