Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
