walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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