New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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