Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
