i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i would punch a child for taco bell
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
